An Avengers Adventure in Texting
by Kittypig
Summary: When Tony is on a sugar rush he has...issues... Based upon a funny conversation between my friend Oreoluvver and I. Please read and review! This story is completely for humor and to brighten your day!


An Avenger Adventure in Texting

Tony's Sugary Bliss

* * *

Tony: Bruce! Buddy, ol' pal, ol' science bro!

9:55 pm

* * *

Bruce: Stark?

9:55 pm

* * *

Tony: Brucey! My big green buddy! Loki's in the Avengers' Tower! On my floor! Help me!

9:56 pm

* * *

Bruce: …I just checked; Loki's playing cards with Thor…

9:56 pm

* * *

Tony: No he isn't! It's a decoy!

9:57 pm

* * *

Bruce: I'm hanging up now…

9:57 pm

* * *

Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!

9:58 pm

* * *

Tony: …

9:59 pm

* * *

Tony: Hello? :(

10:00 pm

* * *

Bruce set down the phone with slight force and gave his temples a much needed massage. He sighed and shoved his knuckles into the mattress of his bed. The groggy doctor looked at the digital clock that glowed in the darkness, eating away the shadows. 10:00 it read.

What was Stark doing at ten at night? More importantly, who else would he wake up?

* * *

Tony: Steve.

10:02 pm

* * *

Tony: Steve!

10:03 pm

* * *

Tony: Steven.

10:04 pm

* * *

Tony: Steven Rogers.

10:05 pm

* * *

Tony: Capsicle.

10:06 pm

* * *

Tony: Hello? Steve Capsicle Rogers? Did I get the wrong number, or did you finally die like you should've all those years ago, Old Man?

10:07 pm

* * *

Steve knew better than to let Tony get his goat. He should've just ignored him. However, calling Steve an old man and then asking him if he'd died yet was cutting pretty deep.

* * *

Steve: What do you want, Tony?!

10:08 pm

* * *

Tony: Sheesh, snippy! Anywho, Loki is on my floor! You have to save me!

10:08 pm

* * *

Steve: No, Tony. It was probably just a bad dream. Why don't you go tell Pepper about your nightmare?

10:09 pm

* * *

Tony: Because Loki needs hugs and Pepper will take him away!

10:09

* * *

Steve: …Just out of curiosity, what all did you have to eat and drink this afternoon?

10:10 pm

* * *

Tony: Oh, I went to a really awesome party this afternoon with a company boss who I've signed a contract with! So I've had a bunch of pizza, candy, and some soda with a LOT of caffeine. And then, I had candy when I got home, too!

10:11 pm

* * *

Steve: Pepper let you have candy at home?

10: 12 pm

* * *

Tony: Pfft! Of course not, Spangles! I had a secret stash hidden under my bed!

10:12 pm

* * *

Steve: Oh, right. Of course… Well, I'm signing off.

10:13 pm

* * *

Tony: No! Steve! NO!

10:13 pm

* * *

Steve sat in his chair, watching the History Channel flash pictures of Nazis and World War II onto his TV screen. He rubbed his eyes with his index fingers and glanced at the clock. What are you up to, Tony, at this ungodly hour? It was then he got another text. He expected it to be Tony and had his fingers ready to tap in "Stop it, Stark," when he read the words.

* * *

Tony: Hey, Steve, this is Pepper. Tony's hugging his pillow and calling it "Loki". Does this mean anything to you?

10:23 pm

* * *

Steve: Uh…maybe it was all the sugar he's had…?

10:23 pm

* * *

Tony: This is serious! He's having a full conversation with it! It's kinda freaking me out. I mean, every time I ask him a question, he yells, "I'm talking to Loki, now go away!" Naturally, I'd whack him in the head, but I've already done that several times today and I don't want to injure him for life.

10:24 pm

* * *

Steve: Well, from what I know, pillow Loki is an imaginary character. Therefore, if you pretend to kill said character, it should diminish the illusion.

10:25 pm

* * *

Tony: Gotcha. I'm on it.

10:26 pm

* * *

Steve waited for a few precious, quiet moments. His gaze shifted shortly to the muted TV that showed the violence of World War II. There was no color to the screen and lines running through the static-filled mess, just the way Steve had remembered the latest of electronics. Terrible viewing quality, but good enough to know what was going on. Then, waking him from his thoughts, his phone alerted him to a new message. That made him think of another type of the best technology: the kind that didn't wake you up in the middle of the night.

* * *

Tony: PEPPER KILLED LOKI! WHY, STEVE, WHY?! :'(

10:31 pm

* * *

Steve: uhhh…

10:32pm

* * *

Tony: I have to go! TTYL! :)

10:33 pm

* * *

Then next morning, Steve went through his daily routine: eat some breakfast, go for a jog, read the newspaper, and go on patrol. Steve was just into the sports section when his phone buzzed and jitter-bugged around on the table. The super soldier sighed and traded the newspaper for the phone. He began to worry when he saw the name: Tony. He hoped it was Pepper texting from Tony's number again.

* * *

Tony: Ugh… What happened last night? I woke up this morning next to a pillow, not Pepper, and have a major headache.

9:30 am

* * *

Steve bit his lip. Uh-oh. Remember, honesty is the best policy.

* * *

Steve: Well, I uh…

9:31 am

* * *

Tony: Hold that thought, Rogers. Pep wants me to check my history of texts.

9:31 am

* * *

Steve: No!

9:32 am

* * *

Tony: Why? What did you do, Capsicle? I know you can't lie!

9:32 am

* * *

Steve: …

9:33 am

* * *

Tony: Ah, exercising your right to remain silent, eh? Touché…

9:33 am

* * *

Tony: YOU KILLED LOKI?! HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE NICE!

9:36 am

* * *

Steve: It was for your own GOOD!

9:36 am

* * *

Tony: Oh, that's rich! The old card, "It was for your own GOOD!" I FREAKING GOT BEAT UP BY THOR! THAT'S WHY MY HEAD HURTS! IT'S SO CLEAR NOW! HE THOUGHT I KILLED HIS BROTHER!

9:37 am

* * *

Steve: He did?

9:37 am

* * *

Tony: YEAH!

9:38 am

* * *

Steve: But it was a pillow!

9:38 am

* * *

Tony: It was LOKI! He needed hugs and chocolate pudding! I left for ONE measly minute, I came back, and Loki's throat was slit and there was stuffing all over my bedroom! And Pepper stood there with a knife in her hands!

9:39 am

* * *

Steve: …

9:39 am

* * *

Tony: But that's okay, because if it weren't for his death, Loki never would have shut up and I wouldn't have slept last night! :)

9:40 am

* * *

Steve: See? I did do a good thing!

9:40 am

* * *

Tony: Well, since I can't kill Pepper, I have to punish SOMEONE for the murder of Loki. So, I'm going to kill you. I'm giving you two hours to run.

9:41 am

* * *

Steve: …! 0/0'

9:41 am

* * *

**Author's Note**

**Whoops, poor Steve! Maybe honesty wasn't the best policy here after all... Ha ha! This short story was inspired by my friend, Oreoluvver's, and mine's conversation! Please review and tell me if you like it or not! By the way, if you liked this story, you can check out my profile for other Avengers fan fictions! -Kittypig**


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